Baggage

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest". ~ Matthew 11:28

So many relationships end because many of us go into them thinking that they are the answer needed to take away our baggage. Reality hits when you get into these relationships and find out that the person has just as much if not more baggage than we do. Some of us aren't looking for a man, we're looking for a Messiah. Some of us aren't looking for a woman but a maid. Someone that can clean up all of that mess we've accumalated over the course of our lives. It's time that we keep it real with ourselves. You find out that underneath that suit and behind that million dollar smile is a burdened down individual. You find out that the "36-24-36" isn't the only thing that you're carrying over the threshold. You may be carrying the rape, abuse, her momma, her insecurities, her manipulative mindset. You may find yourself walking down the aisle towards his abuse, his insecurities, his mental illness, & his manipulative mindset. So many eventually end up going into the mindset of "falling out of love" because the baggage that they've brought into a relationship is now combined with our baggage. The "ideology" of perfection then goes out of the window & is chalked up as "falling out of love".  If we would just realize that a husband or wife is not the ticket we need to obtain LASTING  happiness within the depths of our spirit, we would be a better person to be in a relationship with. Learn who the true Comforter and Healer is. People were never meant to clean up our mess. Once we digest that and actually depend on the true Messiah, you know the one that shed his blood on the cross for us, we'll learn to live victory in this life. The first step is being honest with ourselves. Learn to recognize that some of us really believe that life isn't worth living if we're not in a relationship & then proceed to tear down that lie with the word of God. Learn to recognize that some of us have a bad attitude towards men and women which often effects our ability to have a successful relationship. This is not restricted to romantic relationships but friendships as well. As I walk my journey, God reveals the issues that I need to resolve within myself. As I work with him to resolve my own issues, he shows me the unhealthy relationships and friendships that I've attracted into my life. Remember that various variables in our "stinkin thinkin" often attracts others with the very same mindset. Once he starts cleaning on your insides, you tend to see things and people in a new light. Some you are no longer drawn to because you're no longer blinded or chained down in that area that drew them into your life in the first place. Once we learn to be honest with ourselves, we will have no issue being honest with others in our life.

Peace, Love, and Blessings,

Nata Bee

Time to Upgrade

I'd like to take a moment and speak about people who judge others who are trying to enlighten themselves as well as others. The following paragraph was something that I came across that inspired me to write today's post. Check it out:

"Have you ever known a person, or a very self righteous person or someone that comes across holier than thou & is always trying to spread the good word, drop those gems of knowledge, self worth, positivity or affirmations?  But when you were around them in the past they were a freakaleek.  Now they're on this higher ground talking the gospel on fb & twitter.  Now all these ppl are liking their quotes & posts & having epiphanies like they've opened up a new dimension to their mind & soul. But when you read it ur like plz, it wasn't like that when we were.... I just roll my eyes & be like da hell this righteous person come from???  If they only knew!" 

Sadly, this is the mindset that so many of us have displayed either in the past, presently, or maybe in the future. It seems that as soon as someone gets religious/saved, people go & bring up their past as if they themselves have the lifestyle credentials of Mother Theresa. My question is have you have ever sat down and questioned what exactly is in our spirit that makes some of us lash out in this manner when we see or hear our brother or sister talking "religious"? Have you ever wondered why many take on the attitude that is displayed in the message above? Now let me be clear to those of you that automatically revert to the "So many people are hypocrites" defense mechanism. I am not referring to the individuals that PURPOSEFULLY manipulate God's word to work in their favor and feed their own selfish desires. I'm not talking about the people that are unapologetically living in a way that's not pleasing to God and knowingly & mercilessly persecute others with judgemental eyes & words. I'm talking about individuals that are by no means perfect yet they strive towards evolving into the person God wants them to be yet are still "persecuted". I'm talking about people that strive to motivate and inspire others knowing that they aren't perfect and openly admit their imperfection by helping others in the spirit of love not judgment.

Just because a person doesn't air every dirty detail that they've done in life does not mean that they are hypocrites or that they are "frontin". Everything isn't for everybody. Some things are simply between you & God. The difference between a saint & a sinner is simply the revelation that they acknowledge and consistently strive towards the Savior for help. When you strive towards the Savior, you begin to take on his characteristics. His characteristic then start to show through your actions but this is never a overnight deal. You evolve. I evolve. This means that what may have hurt me last year no longer hurts me this year. What angered me last month no longer angers me today. My weaknesses constantly evolve into my strengths because I am always growing.

If you have issues discerning if a person is genuine towards you just pray, watch, and listen. Listen, you know what's in a person's heart by the words that they CONSTANTLY speak. Learn to shut your mouth sometimes & actually LISTEN. I guarantee, you will actually see who a person is on the inside. Also WATCH a person's actions. Something I've learned is that people ALWAYS show their TRUE self by their actions & their priorities. A tree is known by it's fruit. The "fruit" is referring to the doctrine that the person lives by. If a person constantly speaks on manipulating people/situations...manipulation is in their heart. If a person is constantly talking about who did what against them & constantly regurgitating old hurts...unforgiveness is there. If a person always talks about getting a person back in some form or fashion...bitterness is there. Now this is not saying JUDGE anyone because that's not our place & the whole point of this entry is to deter people from that. This is saying practice discernment. This part is simply explaining how to separate the "sheep" & the "wolves". The word says be wise as serpents yet harmless as doves.

Lastly, know that on this journey towards being enlightened and inspiring others, there will always be people who try to constantly "take you down a notch" by constantly bringing up your past. Notice in the quotated entry above, the person said "COME ACROSS as holier than thou"...this mean that their PERCEPTION brought along their conclusion. Most that are striving towards the straight and narrow, don't brag that they are "holier than thou". If a person has to constantly scream and rant that they are holier than thou, chances are they are trying to convince themselves. Just stay focused on your race. Know that people can & do change. Know that some people, particularly "the reminders", REFUSE to stop living in the past. They want to throw those type of jabs because something in them does not want to accept that people evolve and change. Simply watch their actions and listen to test their genunity as explained above. Some want you to revert back to who you were simply because it makes them feel good about their own choices in life. Some are simply intimidated. Yes, there are some that do fake the spiritual role but to that I still say, if their fake motivational fb, twitter, email, statuses helps to motivate other people to do better and be their best self, I see it as a WIN. I trust that eventually what that person is "pretending" to be will eventually become their reality. I live by the "speak it into existence" doctrine. Life & Death are in the power of the tongue. You either speak life or death into your being. Which are you choosing?  

Peace, Love, & Blessings,

Nata Bee

Process before Promotion

Have you ever had to encourage yourself? Friends couldn't do it... Husband couldn't do it... Kids couldn't do it...Family couldn't do it... Hell was coming in for the kill and Satan said "Oh I got her this time!!"..but guess what...Weeping may endure for a night but JOY comes in the morning. ~TD Jakes

Have you ever come to a point in your life where you almost gave up? You're laying in your bed and you're like "If one more thing happens...its over. I mean, you're crying EVERY night and day. You're crying so much that when other's come to you with their issues, you really have nothing to give because your emotional reservoir is tapped. Does it seem as if you can't feel or offer anything when other's come to you because it seems that the battles in your life have drained every ounce of your spiritual motivation? What once made something in your spirit jump or move you to "nurture" & feed another spiritual food, seems to be obsolete. You seem to feel nothing. I've just described my current position. The good news is that God has revealed to me that he will send me more "spiritual food" to refill my reservoir. He will give me and my family our peace and joy back. He will bring us out better than we were before. God will surround me with people with a vision. He will lift me and my family out of the pit. People may say, Oh you've won the battle and you personally know that you've won the battle but oftentimes what people don't see, is that "WINNING" comes with a sacrifice. You can be a winner but wounded. Anyone who's ever been in a vicious fight knows that you oftentimes walk away with scars. You may limp home. You may have a busted lip. You may have a bloodied head...but you've won. Don't mistake winning as always being pretty. You can win but be tired. You can survive but still be weary. Sometimes you can win but be too tired to enjoy the victory. People who WITNESS other people's battles often get so caught up in the OUTER armor of the warrior that they fail to see the pain & wounds underneath the warrior's armor. The outer armor represents who we are as a person on today. It represents our strength and perseverance against adversity. When this happens, some may overlook the need to give encouragement.  For this very reason we must all learn to encourage ourselves. As human beings, we have limitations. Do not make the mistake of seeking constant and everlasting encouragement and support from other people. People can only do so much. Encourage yourself in the Word of God. Once you have that foundation, nothing will be able to DESTROY your "home". You can't build a foundation on the spirituality of your family...your co-workers..your friends...etc. You have to KNOW for yourself. Have your own relationship with Christ. The issue with building a foundation on other people's encouragement is that people can be offering a shoulder one minute and at your throat the next. People can change up very quickly on you but Malachi 3:6 says that God does not change. Depend on him. There's nothing worse than when those whom you are the closest to, turn against you or start to hate you. Do you know what it's like to have a enemy in a strange place? People have their own agenda and sometimes whatever is on that agenda determines their motives towards another. My point is this, although I love all of who God has placed in my life and I trust a couple of the people, I only place COMPLETE faith in my Creator. He has never failed me. He won't fail you. Know that disAPPOINTments are only for an APPOINTED time but his joy is everlasting. An appointment has a beginning & ending time. Trouble does not last always. God has a purpose to the process. T.D. Jakes once said that many of us don't want to hear about a "process" because we want everything to be INSTANTANEOUS. But we must remember that the process always comes before the PROMOTION. Although my eye is swollen, lip busted, head is blooded, my faith in Christ has not wavered and my Spirit is unmoved. My emotions are screaming that I've never felt more alone in my life or more depressed or cried so much in my life but the still & small voice tells me to be still & that he's always with me. My seeds of tears will cause my harvest to be songs of joy. With all of that said, "Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth. Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." ~Isaiah 43:18-19..."My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to be moved. he who keeps you will not slumber." ~Psalm 121:2-3


Peace, Love, & Blessings,


Nata Bee

Praise anyhow...

Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (which means “son of Timaeus”), was sitting by the roadside begging. ⁴⁷ When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

  Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”   Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus. “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him. The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”   “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.~Mark 10: 47-52

What message do you receive from the text above? If I really sit here and place myself in that time, I see a man who was in the "pit" of life. He sat at the side of the road begging. I'm sure people were used to seeing him and weren't really intimidated being that he was at the side of this road begging everyday. With this in mind, why did they begin to rebuke and try to shut his mouth when Jesus came near? I mean his begging was never a problem before so what makes this time any different? Apply this situation to your life today. What circumstances are you currently experiencing that try to REBUKE & STOP your praise and worship? Listen carefully...are they...your circumstances... snarling and yelling for you to shut your mouth! Mine are. Guess what I have to say to that? RABBI! ABBA!! I PRAISE YOU ANYHOW!! I LOVE YOU ANYHOW. I'LL PRAISE YOU ANYWAY...IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. WE NEED HEALING! The reason our circumstances oftentimes become more intimidating than others is due to the promise of promotion getting near. Our advancement and blessings are getting closer so be ready. Don't give up. Praise God anyway. He inhabits our praises. He draws near to those that praise his name. The more severe the "rebukes" get...the louder your praises should be. Jesus pays attention to radical faith and praise during "UNpraise worthy" moments. 

Many are going through the fire right now and I know that radical faith is what is needed at this point. There has to be a purpose to this process and while I don't understand, I trust that God has it all under control. Trust him today. I know it's hard & it hurts but lets join together in our prayers to keep each other uplifted. To everyone reading this and going through the fiery trials, this will pass. God is a healer. He is a provider. He is our safety.  He is faithful. He hears our prayers. Keep him first. He will work everything out. Our steps are ordered & while our finite mind can't grasp everything, his infinite mind does. If someone hasn't hugged or told you that they love you, here you go...*hugs*...I love you sister/brother. Please remember my face along with my family during your prayers. It is greatly appreciated.

Peace, Love, & Blessings

Nata Bee

New Season

There is nothing more frustrating in life than when you are surrounded by people that try to hold you back by trying to constantly remind you of who you WERE compared to your making progress towards who you are becoming. They want you to remain as you were while you're trying to exert the energy towards who you are becoming. The season that you are walking into does not match the image and season that they may have met you in and when people don't understand that, the conflict comes into play. Learn to let them go. Pray that they let you go also because some simply refuse to do so. You have some people that are determined for you to stay in the old mindset of an earlier phase of your life & become very irate when they learn that this isn't so. This is not saying that who you were was a mistake because all things work together. This is saying that you are transforming and growing. Many simply refuse to accept that. They refuse to believe it. They often try to remind you whether its through accusations or outright hostility. Do not be deceived. A person cannot go forward by moving backward. A person cannot focus their energy towards becoming the person that Christ has called them to be if their focus is on living up to their associates idea of who they WERE. Take note of your surroundings. Look around your "room". If you are the most successful person in your room, then you are in the wrong room. You know that you are in the wrong room when you are feeling drained due to being the one that others always "take" from. You have no one to look up to in order to gain some kind of motivational help. You are the motivational help. This is not saying that you should start becoming hostile towards old comrades and associates. This is simply saying, broaden your horizons. Don't limit yourself to hanging with a certain group of individuals. Have a mixture of people in your circle. Learn to surround yourself with people that are already at the destination you're trying to reach as well as those who are in the process of getting to a destination...not a dead end...a destination. There's a difference. Learn it. Say to those that try to hinder your progress and growth...LET ME GO. Don't let anyone hold you back. There will always be "accusers" and "naysayers" trying to distract you. Stay focused. Learn to listen closely to who God says you are, not what "people" say you are or aren't.  Never let people force you into a box that you have outgrown or you simply wasn't made to fit in to begin with. What God has ordained over your life will come to pass. No weapon formed will ever prosper. Stand on that. I know I am. The battle is always the fiercest before the win.

I truly feel that God is walking me into a new season of my life. This season will be a season of huge blessings. I can't explain it to you if I tried because I have no tangible proof & this is where faith steps in. He will never reveal the entire picture to you. It'll be just bits and pieces of clues here and there along with a KNOWING in your spirit.  I'll just leave it like this for reference when I come back to write about what he has done in my life. Feel free to let me know what he does in your life. The season is about to change.

Peace, Love, & Blessings,

Nata Bee

Injustice...

Southern trees bear a strange fruit. Blood on the leaves and blood at the root. ~Billie Holiday 

Today was the day that America's justice system committed one of it's many heinous acts of killing an innocent black man. Troy Davis' case is just the tip of the iceberg construed of African American victims and the justice system. Don't misunderstand me as saying that all of the individuals within the justice system are innocent but this particular case had ample evidence including SEVEN of the NINE witnesses recanting their statements against him. For years African Americans have often been the victims of horrendous crimes due to simply being black in America. Many times these victims have been made to be an "example" presented to the black community as some sort of "warning". This man's blood was shed for a crime that he did not commit. His last words were into death were "I am innocent". This story is very heart wrenching to me due to the fact that he is not the first to blatantly & mercilessly be executed in the name of "politics". It is no secret that many are very disturbed by our milestone of having a black president. I have never seen so many blatant acts and words of disrespect towards our commander in chief. In the history of America, not once have I read or heard our president being called out of his name according to his race nor have I heard another blatantly call another president a liar to his face. I've also had the unfortunate yet insightful opportunity to work with individuals who blatantly were upset from day one that he became president. It is one thing to disagree with our president but a completely different story all together when you go to your workplace and the entire place is SILENT like someone has died on the day that he became president. These same closed minded individuals often made blatantly inappropriate comments in my presence. I thank God for giving me the strength to keep my tongue tamed during that very trying time. I was the only African American within the establishment and they definitely made sure I knew that from their condescending and negative actions and words. It was essential that I prayed everyday before going into that place because when you are in an environment like that, it is like hell on earth. It is very tormenting because you feel restricted and constantly judged because of the limitations that is around their brains. What's ironic is that these same people represent groups such as the Tea Party that often condemn and harshly judge minorities because they have been placed in a "box" their entire lives. They don't personally interact with many blacks. They simply go off of what the media presents and take it as truth for all people in a particular race and culture. These same people scream "Holy Holy!" every Sunday yet wrinkle their noses towards their minority brothers and sisters. They almost run to the church doors to volunteer and brag about their achievements while stepping over the hungry or homeless minority in the parking lot. Honestly, it angers me that some individuals are so limited in their way of thinking yet feel that they have "arrived" according to their "achievements". I truly hope and pray that they see the error of their ways before standing before our creator. African Americans are often misjudged and given the short hand of the stick in life yet we always rise which is why so many hate us. They can only dream of the kind of strength that we possess, especially under adversity. WE ALWAYS RISE. Troy Davis will not have died in vain. His innocent blood will be avenged as well as my other innocent brothers and sisters. Thanks for listening.

Peace, Love, and Blessings

Nata Bee

 

He Prepares A Place

The enemy will always threaten you with something...your past...an uncertain future...the thought that you'll never get out or be free. God is very aware of the threats against you. So mindful of the enemies and the threat that they pose, that he prepares a table for you in their presence. God wants you to sit down at the table, eat the prepared meal of blessings, and remain at peace even when the enemy is snarling in your face. ~T.D. Jakes

Lately, I've noticed that something or someone from my past has often been thrown into my view as a distraction.  My eyes have been set to look forward and walk the path that is being laid out before me yet there have been many "darts" thrown in my direction whether it's through an associate or a situation(s). At first it bothered me greatly but then God revealed to my spirit what exactly is being done. Oftentimes, the enemy will utilize those that are closest to you as well as situations and individuals from dark moments in your past to distract you.  The enemy knows when we are closer to succeeding in the purpose that God has ordained for our life so he throws jabs towards what is deemed as the weakest places in our lives. I admit that when these occurrences and people kept popping up in different areas of my life, that it briefly distracted me by causing me to ask the question of "why?" along with anger but that quickly went away. I know that as long as God is on my side, the battle will be won.
I can confidently say that during EVERY advancement I've experienced in my life so far, a major battle was fought beforehand. This is simply because the enemy wants to stop it and God also takes this time to strip you of certain individuals and negative qualities that have no place with you as you go to the next level in life. There will ALWAYS be a sacrifice of sorts when a blessing is poured out in our lives. I can't waste my time dwelling on the what ifs and who is genuine and who isn't because I trust God to fight my battles. I can't waste anymore time pondering if I disappointed a person or dwelling in disappointment towards situations and people because the fact remains is that we all fall short and while I may not be perfect and do everything that everyone would like for me to do when they would like for me to do it, God still loves me. He loves you too. With this fact at the forefront of my mind, his love won't allow me to go without what I need in my life and this includes people. If he has placed them there for a lifetime, they will be there. If not, then I can't dwell on the "whys" behind it. While I will always love everyone that has walked with me on my journey, I refuse to force anything that is not meant to be. I expect the same in return. I'd just like to say to anyone reading this that may feel misunderstood by others or lonely, know that the journey to transformation is never easy which is why most won't go through with it. Many avoid it simply because it REQUIRES the many sacrifices that I vaguely speak on. Many cling to the "familiar" because it is most comfortable. When you advance in life, it is often very uncomfortable at first. You lose friends. Some of your family won't understand you. You will get talked about by the "spectators" & even friends. You will wonder if you made the right decision. Know that through all of this God will never leave you or forsake you. Know that when it's all said & done, YOU WILL WIN. Know that he ALWAYS replaces what you lose in the fire. Not only does he replace it but he replaces it abundantly. He gives you double for your trouble. There is a story that I read a few years back that coincides perfectly with what I am talking to you about. Some of you may have heard it but some may not so here goes... There was a young girl who owned a pair of plastic pearls. She wore them around her neck all of the time. She wore them to sleep. She wore them in the shower. She wore them when she played. She LOVED those plastic pearls. Eventually they started to turn her neck green. Her father came into her bedroom one night before she was to fall asleep and told her he needed to take those pearls because they were starting to leave a residue on her neck. She cried so hard and begged and screamed how she didn't want to let them go. She began to become angry with her father while protesting how she didn't want to let them go. He gently & assuredly told her it would be OK & how she should give him the pearls because they were no longer good for her. She finally took them from around her neck with tears streaming down her face and put them in his hands. He smiled & immediately brought his other hand into her view which had been behind his back the entire time. In his hand he held a beautiful velvet box. His daughter wiped her eyes and slowly took the box out of his hand. To her surprise, she found inside a beautiful pair of REAL pearls that put the other ones to shame. She looked at her father who never stopped smiling and hugged him really tight completely forgetting about the imitations that just minutes earlier she desperately tried clinging too. This is how our heavenly father works. Oftentimes we try to cling to "the familiar" because it's what we're used to and when our father steps in to shake some things up by stripping us of old ways...old comrades...old associates...we scream and cry thinking we'll never find another but he would never do us like that. When someone or something is lost in the fires of our lives, he is simply trying to advance us to the next level. Whatever was/is lost in the fire was not meant to remain in your life. He wants to do bigger and better things in our lives. Everyone and everything won't make it to the "promise land" because everything isn't for everybody. Everyone won't understand and it's not meant for them to. We each have our own journey and experience in God. He talks to us universally as well as individually. He talks to us individually because we all don't experience the same problems and battles. What may be a struggle for one, may not be a struggle for another. I am slowly yet surely grasping this concept....shaken but not stirred. Today, I ask that you don't dwell on the disappointments and what you've lost during your journey. Keep your eyes on what you've learned & gained during your journey so far. As long as you make the effort to reach out and develop a relationship with him, he will take you by the hand and guide you. Not many can walk the straight and narrow because of the pressure...the road is narrow & constricted due to the pressure. Let that sink in and know that while it sometimes seems like you've lost the battle...things are not always what they seem. Let's humble ourselves and seek his face. Those that are supposed to accompany you, will be there and those that aren't will get lost by the wayside only to be replaced.

Lastly, I have received alot of "could shoulders"..."eye rolling"..."teeth smacking"...angry backlash behind some of my writings. Surprisingly it has been from individuals that I never thought would have an issue with it. I am learning that when people harshly judge themselves they begin to take alot of things personally & lash out. This will be the last time that I will make an attempt to explain why I write the way I do and my intent behind it. All other inquiries need to be taken up with my Creator ;) When I write, it is simply an outlet for what is deposited into my spirit. I do not write to "passive aggressively" attack anyone & I do not inadvertently tell another's business through this. That is not my motive at all. I write from what I receive in my spirit as well as the experiences & shortcomings that I've personally battled with. I WILL NOT stop writing the things that flow through me...simple as that. For as many that reject what I write, so many more embrace it. I'm learning that if you are not stepping on some toes when you write something, you are not saying much. Not saying that I am unsympathetic but when you are focused on a goal, you really can't afford to be distracted by looking down on whose toes are being stepped on. If leaders operated in that manner, nothing would ever be achieved. The Civil Rights movement would be unheard of if people tip toed around. A black president would be unheard of if he "tip toed" around. Now that I've explained myself, I pray that everyone who takes what I say personally, will do so in a way that contributes to you becoming the best person that you can be... not in my eyes but in our Father's eyes. Never lash out at someone who is trying to speak the truth & spread love. You are only hurting yourself and prolonging the process. At one point in my life, I would do the same. "Who do they think they are?!" "They do **** and wanna try to tell me something! Girl boo!"...Those were my thoughts at one point but I've learned that when something inside my spirit jerks in response to what someone is saying to me, that is simply the spirit shining light on my dark places. Places that need cleaning. Places that need tightening up. That irritation and movement is your carnal side battling your spiritual side. The carnal side SCREAMS...while the spiritual side is a calm and confident voice. Never reject the light. Embrace it. It is not the person delivering the message that you should be looking to anyway but what's operating inside that person. With all that said, I hope this message finds you all in high spirits. Remember...you guide your emotions don't let them guide you. MANY more writings to come:)

Peace, Love, & Blessings,

Nata Bee

copyright © 2011 Renate' Bender

What about the Vision?

“…Do not give up.
Even when others do not understand.
Even when you feel alone with your dreams.
......Even when the vision gets a little blurred…
Your steps are ordered, and you are destined for greatness.
You are stronger than your mind can conceive, everything you need lies within…” -LaKesha Womack

 

 

Spirit of the Living God fall fresh on me. Spirit of the Living God fall fresh on me. Hide me behind the Cross that they may see more of thee and less of me. Spirit of the Living God fall fresh on me.

The previous saying is said every Sunday by my Pastor. I admire it and find that it is humbling and keeps the messenger focused on relaying the message deposited into their spirit. I utilize it in the same manner. With all of that said, have you ever felt that the dream that God deposited into your spirit just wasn't going to come to pass due to your current circumstances? Maybe you are in the boat with me where you know that you are destined to do something great but don't have the complete vision as to what it is yet. Maybe you are like me where you often wonder....maybe I heard or saw the vision wrong. Maybe my current circumstances are so hopeless & final that my time is up. To all of that I say, "I can do all things through Christ that gives me strength". I am the head and not the tail. I am above and not beneath. ALL things work together for THE GOOD of those that love the Lord. It is important that we fight these negative thoughts with the word of God. When in a debate with the enemy, you fight with God's word. The THREATS of the adversary have no power over God's PROMISES. With that in mind, you must get into God's word to actually know what he promises you. Many don't know his promises. Some know his promises but get so caught up in the cares of this world that it blocks out and clouds their vision. I completely understand what it's like to have a fear so paralyzing that you simply sit there & weep. I understand what it's like to be in a depression so deep that you think that you'll never come out of it. I am here to tell you that if you keep your focus on Christ, he will never lead you wrong. He never promised that the road would be smooth. As a matter of fact, his word says that the righteous have many afflictions but HE delivers us out of them all. Just to clarify, when I say righteous, it simply means that everyone who accepts Jesus as their savior and believes that through him, they can gain everlasting life, they are made righteous. This is simply by GRACE. Never confuse me or anyone as a person who is "God". When I say that, I simply mean a person who never falls short in sin. I am NOT that person. People tend to place you on a unrealistic pedestal when they hear or see you speak or write in the manner that I do. When they do this, they place unrealistic expectations on you and often place harsh condemnations on you when you fall short of them. I do understand that this is the price that is to be paid when I stepped up to the plate to do this so I take it to God and just pray that he is pleased with me even when people aren't. I say all of that to say that the only difference between me and a person who isn't a believer is simply that I KNOW I can't do anything without him and WHEN I fall, I go to him for my redemption and forgiveness because in the end, he's all that matters. Moving on, know that if God places a seed(s) in your spirit & you persistently & consistently seek him to bring it to pass, IT WILL HAPPEN. Your gift will take you into the presence of great people. No one or nothing will stop you but you. I say that because oftentimes, we as people tend to focus on our faults and shortcomings. LISTEN! God KNOWS what he's dealing with. He knows you better than you know yourself. He made you. We tend to compare ourselves to others in regard to what they have or where they are in life but that is the wrong way to think. God places different gifts in us all. We all can't do the same thing in the same way. Your anointing will not be the same as my anointing. My anointing is no better than your anointing. It is important that you stay in the lane that God places you in. Never let your emotions...or society...or the adversary...or friends...or your own stinkin thinkin...convince you into believing that you aren't important or that your limitations are his limitations. Cling to CONFIDENCE in GOD....not yourself...but God because it is in him that you will be able to do all things that he has called you to do. He will work through you. He will work through your weakness because his strength is made perfect in that. Keep a right attitude towards yourself so you are able to exercise it towards others. When you have unrealistic expectations of yourself to be perfect, you start to place it on others in which causes animosity,depression, and bitterness to manifest. Seek him and ask him to start seeing yourself as well as others through his eyes. God has so many plans for us if only we took the chains from around our thinking, we could grasp it & receive a joy so overwhelming, words would do it no justice and circumstances would not be able to shake it. Know that once you make a decision to try to follow "the light", there will be adversity. There will be people that don't understand. Most of the time it's the people that are closest to you. There will be times where you will have a period of "alone time". This is simply because he has to get you by yourself. He has to process you. He has to put some things in and take some things out. He has to change your thinking. He has to brand in your spirit that he is the only thing that you need and the only thing that can bring you genuine peace. You can be rich and not have peace. You can be married and not have peace. You can have millions of friends but not have peace. Those things are simply "accessories" and can be fleeting. Jesus is the only ROCK that can bring something into your life that is unshakable. He often shakes our foundation to show what's unshakable. He loves us without conditions. He loves us simply because of who he is, not because of what we do or don't do. God blesses us even when we don't deserve it. He loves on us when he is not even on our minds. Look back over your life and think on where he has brought you from. Think about the times you know that circumstances could've went a completely different route, yet he blocked it and saved you. He saved me in my drunk, passed out state. He saved me during my most deceitful & ugliest ways. He saved me even when i called myself condemning someone else because they didn't say or do something in a way that I felt was acceptable when the whole while I've fallen short and STILL fall short. One of my shortcomings is that I beat myself up harshly on the inside because of certain ways that I have. I'm learning that God sees and knows all. He knows me. He knows the real me. He knows the "real you". The "real you" is that person that shows themselves when conditions aren't in your favor. The "real you" shows when you are not in the church pew. That "real you" is the YOU that comes out when you are around people that you aren't trying to impress.  That's what's so good and different about him. People will harshly condemn you and often remind you of your shortcomings and mistakes whereas God is simply waiting for you to genuinely say "Forgive Me" & he ERASES it from the slate to never be brought up again. He doesn't deal with us according to how we behaved in the past. It's like he sees us as brand new. All of us can learn tremendously from that. So many of us are so hard on each other and often hold grudges with each other when in reality if we truly took a really good look back over our lives, somewhere along the line we've let other's down in some form or fashion. We've hurt some feelings. We've behaved selfishly. We've all basically done some things that we aren't proud of . We really must practice forgiveness and loving each other unconditionally. We all are a work in a progress. We really can't afford to dwell on what happened in the past or how a person has mistreated us because we will miss out on what God is trying to bring to pass in the present. It also contaminates our spirit. Bitterness is a very nasty poison that hurts the owner. Bitterness is often deceitful too. Many of us disguise it with whatever label our mind can fathom but once the light of truth shines on it, that's what it is. To grasp what God is giving us, we must let go of what the world has placed in our hand. Just let it go. Don't say with your words that you let it go. Say with your actions that this is so. Say with your spirit that this is so. It's time that we become the woman/man that he has called us to be. In order for us to do that, we have to grow. Many don't like to grow because it hurts. Growth truly does hurt because things are dropped off and things are gained. The things that are dropped off are "the familiar". The thing that is gained is transformation. Growth causes some of the things in your familiar environment to move. Some things move out and some move in closer. Trust that you are right where you are supposed to be. Trust that even through the tears and pain, good will come out of all of your experiences. Trust that even when some people abuse, use, and talk about you, that it is all for a greater good in your life. Trust that even when you sometimes don't understand some of the things you say, feel or do, that he does. Block out the "distractions" in life and keep your gaze fixed on him. You are not crazy even though many would like to convince you otherwise. You are not worthless even though folks try to make you feel otherwise. Your value doesn't lay in what a family, friend, or foe has to say about you. It lays in what God says about you. Some people resort to trying to chop you down in order to build up their ego. Some people become jealous of you because they undervalue their own abilities and character and overvalue yours. Keep your mind on what is right & you will be able to recognize what is coming against you.  Have faith that God will bring to pass whatever it is he has called you to do. Stay focused. You will get there. I hope this brings joy and hope to every eye that comes upon this.

 

Peace, Love, & Blessings,

Nata Bee

copyright © 2011 Renate' Bender All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

What are you speaking into your life?

You have to be a radical kind of person...a little bit crazy...a little bit weird to call things that are not as though they were/are. People that speak abundance during a drought have to be a bit off in the world's way of thinking. People don't understand how we can speak things of prosperity and abundance during a time of famine. They will show us their "evidence" & we'll show them our vision. This is why it is very important to be careful about who you converse deeply with. You can't closely communicate with an individual that speaks fear while you're speaking faith. If you wanna know where a person's heart is, listen to the things that consistently comes out of their mouth. Where a person heart is, DIRECTLY relates to the conversation that they hold.  A person who thinks negatively will have a negative life. A person who thinks "downward" will have a life that manifests itself in a downward direction. Alot of people don't think in term of abundance during a period of lack. Many don't even think in terms of abundance during a time of abundance. Many ask me why I like to do things so big or "what's so special to do all of that"? I don't dwell on conversations with individuals like that because they dwell on "limitations". Don't ask me, "Why?" Ask me,"Why not?" Some people don't and won't like you celebrating or speaking things that are "too big" from their point of view. To that we will say, just because all you've experienced is mediocrity and inauthenticity doesn't mean everyone accepts the same as their reality. Upgrade yourself.

Proverbs 23:7 says that "As a man thinks, so is he".  This is why the adversary works so hard to contaminate our thoughts with life experiences,people, and emotions. He knows the power behind a thought/vision. He knows that if you can dwell on negative thoughts, they will eventually come to pass. We all have moments where these thoughts try to rule and scream out hopelessness but the living word tells us that we have the power to cast down every stronghold and dark thought. It's normal to have negative thoughts pass through but don't let it get comfortable and take residence. Get radical and crazy with it and SPEAK ALOUD God's word to fight it even when you don't feel up to it. Speak faith and abundance into your life on today. Dwell in the land of possibilities and leave the land of hopelessness and mediocrity. We are limited but God isn't. Let him work through you and trust him to mold you into the best person that you can possibly be. Let prosperity and abundance chase you down and OVERTAKE you. Blessings infinity.

Peace, Love, and Blessings,

Nata Bee
copyright © 2011 Renate' Bender

Destiny

I'm not here by accident. It wasn't a mistake. You're not here by chance. You're not here by accident. It wasn't a mistake. There is a destiny that awaits us. Do you have a destiny? I'm sure you have a clue to the answer to this question. I know that I know that I know that I REALLY know that I have one. Yes, I meant to repeat that. If you're reading this and you feel something in your spirit stir, you have a destiny. You know how I know that we have a destiny? It's because every time we get to a place that is not meant for us to stay, something is stirred. There's a nagging feeling. There's a feeling of unrest. He says you can't rest here. He picks at you. He says you can't stay here, you have something to do. There is a shaken foundation of sorts. He begins sending his angels to minister and push you forward in your desert. He basically says, "You can't stay here in this place. I know you're tired. I know you're out of breath but you can't die in this valley. Keep going. You have a great destiny to fulfill." The enemy tried to kill some of us since we began forming in our mother's womb. Tried to kill us with abuse. Tried to kill us with rape. Tried to kill us with molestation. Tried to kill us with rejection issues. Tried to kill us with abandonment. Tried to kill us with various temptations. Sometimes we fell down...sometimes we didn't. When we fell, we didn't stay down and it wasn't our permanent residence. You know why? Because even hell knows that we have a destiny. The adversary will never succeed because greater is he that is within us than he that is of the world. Everyday that we take a breath is a day to take a step closer into what he has set up for our lives. Just sit up on that bed or couch in my case:), stretch forth your hands and thank God for everything he is doing and about to do in your life even through the tears and pain.

Peace, Love, & Blessings,

Nata Bee
copyright © 2011 Renate' Bender

Who do you think you are?!

"You done got uppity"...."You think you're so suchy much"..."You're beside yourself"... "You've forgotten where you've came from". All of these statements are from people who are trying to convince you to keep things the way they are. They want you to abide by the "rule" of..."Stay right down here on this level right here". People love to define you by how they MET you but refuse to acknowledge or believe the person that you've evolved into. Don't define me by how you met me because that season is about to pass. Any time a person is finding out their purpose, different things within their spirit are awakened. They start to develop an "eagle eye". The issue comes into play when a eagle like spirit comes into contact with a buzzard or raven type spirit. It clashes. Eagles fly high and have the ability to see things that are ahead from a far distance. A eagle like spirit sees situations through the eyes of faith. They don't reach their conclusion from the physical presentation of things. They operate in the spirit realm of life and often speak on the spiritual side of things. This is a tough position to be in because you often stand alone in your environment. While we are never alone, those feelings threaten because we are often misunderstood and alot of the times disliked both secretly and openly by others. The world does not recognize or understand anything that is not of it. I hope that makes sense. Alot of times, we battle between the desire to fit in and the calling of standing out with God.  The hero in you which is Christ is often tied up by the human in you. We can't learn or begin to FLY as a butterfly if we are constantly limiting and changing ourselves to fit in with the caterpillars we're sometimes surrounded by. I find that some of the things that I used to say and do, once trying to do and say them now, it doesn't feel or sit the same way with me. There is something in me that says its not right to do. Honestly, I sometimes ignore it but later feel extremely guilty. I can't really explain it adequately so I'll just say that it's something that you have to experience for yourself.  I am not where I should be but I definitely am not where I was. For those of you reading this, once you make the decision to try to get on the right track in life, there will be situations and people that try convince you that you really haven't changed or you really aren't serious or you are a fraud. Pay no mind to that. Once you even glance in Christ's direction, he'll hold his arms out and come to you. He is everywhere. Never base your foundation of faith in who you are on PEOPLE'S interpretation of you. Half of the time they don't even know who they are let alone anyone else. Find out what Christ has to say about you. You can't surround yourself with people who have a limited & a carnal mindset and operate in a carnal mindset while you're of a spiritual mindset. They constantly speak fear and you constantly speak faith. There will eventually be a clash of the two. I sometimes find myself hesitating when I write these entries because I sometimes feel like "Who am I to write this stuff" & quite a few reading this know my history but I'm quickly corrected and brought into remembrance by him. There is qoute that he doesn't call the "qualified", he qualifies the called. Moses was a murderer & stuttered. David had an affair. Peter had a temper. Thomas was a doubter. Paul was a murderer. Martha was a worrier. My words to you on today is don't let people's perception and opinion of you stop you from doing what God puts on your heart. I can hold my head up high knowing that God can work through me and on me anytime and anywhere. He has spoken to me while in a club with a glass of hennessy in my hand as well as in the church pew with a bible in the same hand. Some may not be able to handle that thought and some may gain hope. I hope most go with the latter. I am not perfect and never proclaim to be but I do know that there is a giant purpose within me that is starting to awaken and while some may not be pleased or even understand my mindset and actions, he does and that's all that matters. Sometimes God places people in our lives to be "provokers". They are put there simply to push us towards him. He knows that if that friend had remained loyal or if that man/woman had not broken our heart or if that job had not worked our last nerve or if that illness had not come, we would not have humbled ourselves, fell on our face, and urgently seek him like we are doing now. May this find you in high spirits:)

Peace, Love, and Blessings,

Nata Bee
copyright © 2011 Renate' Bender  

Having an AFFAIR with WOULD'VE...COULD'VE...& SHOULD'VE....

I am sitting here contemplating the in's and out's of relationships and just had to share my thoughts. Have you ever saw a brand new shiny car and on the outside it looks GREAT?! It has the look of new possibilities and a smooth means of transportation to wherever you may fancy your heart to go! You go to open up the door and all kinds of McDonald's bags...Wendy's cups...Soda cans...etc..begin to fall out:) You ever see the show "Hoarders" & they call for help and want to get the help to come out of the clutter yet once the process begins...they begin to scream and cry? We tend to "hoard" things because of "possibilities". It is the issue of "would've"..."could've"...& "should've". This is how we work in relationships! OK so just in case someone tries to get caught up in their feelings thinking it's about someone or something in particular, I'm going to turn around to the wall because I'm actually talking about myself! :)
Isn't it amazing how we often would like to come out of the affair with our baggage but once someone comes into our "space" to sort of help us work through it, we SCREAM & CRY like a baby missing his/her teddy bear? Isn't it amazing how we can meet people and on the outside they look good and can really be a great person but once in front of that judge, to get the paperwork started on a life as one or once moved in together to try to create a long term relationship, all of the "soda cans"..."McDonald's bags"...& "Wendy's containers" begin to fall out & show itself? Just in case you are in denial about having baggage, I'll go ahead and let you know that we all do. Some more than others. It is inevitable to pick up things along the way in this life. The question is, are you willing to let it go and how do you go about letting it go? First, one must acknowledge that it's there. I am finding out quite a few things about myself that have always been there but I simply didn't see it or refused to see it. Don't get me wrong, there are some great people that have baggage. You can be educated. You can have the greatest fashion sense. You can have a good heart but still have baggage. This doesn't mean that WE are trashy. It simply means that we've  been to different places in this life. Just like a random trip on a Saturday morning, you can look in your backseat and passenger seat and see the results of where you've been for that day. The same works in our lives. It is VERY important not to rush into forcing a relationship when meeting someone. It takes time and patience to come to an understanding of who a person truly is. I know of people that have been married for years and still are surprised by some things that they find out about their spouse. It's just a personal opinion of mine that I'd like to slow and steadily learn my mate without the distraction of trying to live up to society's definition of me becoming more valuable because of instantly holding the title of "wife". I hope this make sense. This crossed my mind due to something I was watching & a discussion that I've had with several individuals. It is wise to slow down and take a closer look at the internal aspect of a person instead of focusing on the external. It is in my experience that while I've never been married, I've tried to "portray" a image during several toxic relationships to society while on the inside I was slowly dying. It is important that we take into consideration whether or not we can truly deal with the baggage that most of us bring to the table. Some have bigger trash cans than others! Which is more important to you....your sanity or appeasing what society thinks is "acceptable"? I used to think that pleasing society and living up to this "image" was the choice until I found myself physically and emotionally drained and wounded. Oftentimes when we meet people with baggage who DON'T want help, they dump onto us and we therefore become loaded down with ADDITIONAL junk! There's also the circumstance of being able to handle it and working through it together which is a blessing if found! It's not easy to find a STEADY & GENUINE love that embraces the concept of facing each trial together even when the EMOTIONS contradict it. Anyway, that's it:) Thanks for reading! Hope this finds each of you in high spirits:)

Peace,Love, & Blessings

Nata Bee

copyright © 2011 Renate' Bender

How do I get there?

Praise only fits right when it is plugged into purpose. It's not just saying things like "thank you" just to just say it. It releases power that changes your life. In the bible, David was considered a man after God's own heart. This was not saying that he didn't have issues or was perfect but what it means is that his thoughts were aligned with God's thoughts. He submitted to the will of God. When God moved, he moved. When God said do this, he did just that. God moved everything around David. David was out in the field because his father Jesse was out in the field. God had a bigger plan for his life. If any of you know the story of David, you know that his ending was not like his beginning. Alot of times, we start in a place that will in no way predict where God is taking us. How do you get from "out there" in "the field" to "in here" within "the palace"? When God calls you into a place, you don't have to kiss up, suck up, manipulate, or know anyone to get there because if it truly was left up to mankind, we would owe them for the rest of our life! God knows how to take us from the background to the forefront. There's no need to kiss up to the right person or constantly throw a abundance of business cards out there to manipulate yourself into the purpose that God has for you. You don't need to wear the right shoes or suit to be placed where God wants you to be. I don't need to wear a designer suit or heel to be where God wants me to be.The DESIGN is already in me placed there by the ultimate and supreme DESIGNER! You can have fifty degrees posted on the wall but if there is no God given purpose behind your life, they are null void. When God plants purpose within us, he will provide the means,money,people, etc..to get us there. So many are walking around in a suit with no purpose. Everybody looks like something they are not because we focus on the external instead of the internal. God is about to move some things around. There will begin to be a stir in our life. We won't have to do anything to make it happen either. There will be a movement and God is going to shake some things out. I can no longer worry about if I have the means to attain it. God will move what needs to be moved. I can no longer worry if I got the suit for it. I can no longer worry about where I'm  currently "seated". I can no longer worry about who likes me and who doesn't. Who cares! If God be for me, who can be against me? Romans 8:31 Through an attack, God brought David from obscurity to notoriety. A giant Philistine known as Goliath brought David to the forefront. When the God shines the light in our lives, it brings about the heat.  Don't pray for more light if you can't handle more heat. Through a battle with "Goliath", David was brought to the attention of Saul. This introduction to Saul led him to become King. The same applies in life, people notice how you deal with adversity and battles. How are you going to handle the anointing behind the position that God is trying to place you in, if you don't fight the battles that comes with this advancement? Each battle brings about new revelation which leads to growth. Every battle is a preparation that shoots you to the next level. He has to process us for the purpose. There is purpose in the process. God has many promises for our lives but he never said we'd receive them all today. We have to become mature enough to receive them. There is a difference between me getting married at 15 & getting married at 30. I'm the same person yet my mindset is different during those two stages. The same is to be said about walking into the plan he has for our lives. He has to mold us and shape us and put in some stuff and take out some stuff for us to be able to handle what he's called us to do. If he really showed us EVERYTHING that he has planned for our lives, it would blow our minds. We wouldn't be able to fathom it. With all that said, I thank God for the closed doors! I thank God for the people who spit on me. I thank God for the times I didn't have $2 in the bank. I thank God for the people who lied on me. I thank God for the heartache! I thank God for working with difficult people! I thank God for being knocked down on my back with no one reaching their hand out but him! I thank God for the illnesses that threatened. I thank God for it all because without it, I wouldn't know that he was and is my Jehovah-Rophe! I wouldn't know that he is my Jehovah-Jireh. I wouldn't know the he is my Jehovah-Shalom. I wouldn't know that he is my Jehovah Nissi! Lastly, I wouldn't know HE IS MY JEHOVAH-ROHI! If you are facing a battle whether it is in your mind, body, finances, home, or wherever, steady your eyes on him. Get into his word and stay there. Depend on those LIVING words and everlasting water to quench your thirst because without it, you are naked to the attacks. Ignore your EMOTIONS when it comes to placing your eyes on the creator because the adversary has access to this and can manipulate it. He want you to feel hopeless & useless because he knows that if he can get you to that point, he can get you AWAY from God's will for your life. He knows that if he pulls you down into that deep pit to lay with him, you will turn your eyes away from the light and truth. Become a pit bull in the spirit and say "in spite of this or that, I will praise and study the word of God". This is the only thing that I've found that LASTS when it comes to happiness and fulfillment in my spirit. A shot of liquor can't do it. A joint can't do it. A man can't do it. A woman can't do it. Only God can fill that place. I know from experience. It does not LAST. It is TEMPORARY and most of the time you come out feeling worse than before! The quicker some of us grasp that concept, the better off we will be. Let God fight your battles. You are significant and your life matters. You have purpose. You are the head and not the tail. You are above and not beneath. Don't believe the lies that your emotions & circumstances are trying to SCREAM into your ear. It is important that we continuously dwell and stay in his word & presence even when we don't FEEL up to it. Surround yourself with people that discuss his word & speak faith towards advancing in life. What you FEED your spirit, takes root in your heart, and eventually comes out of your mouth. Words are seeds. This works both ways. If you are around or constantly hear negativity and hopelessness, this is what will eventually come out of your mouth. I refuse to entertain or talk to individuals that CONSTANTLY speak on what the "world news" is saying about economic depression or who's sick....who's dying....who did them wrong....how broke they are. It's not that I don't care but it's simply that I can't afford to entertain or indulge in it because my eyes are on the prize. I can't afford to because it is enough work alone to constantly RENEW my own mindset which has some negativity from my past entertainment of foolishness. I find & surround myself with people that speak encouragement even when their circumstances aren't favorable. Please do the same! It is essential! If I can't find anyone around me, I encourage MYSELF. Learn to do that as well! Be encouraged, if you are going through some things and you trust & delight yourself in God, he will give you the desires of your heart and this includes bringing you up and out of every dark pit and stronghold that has invaded your space. Smile! It will be OK! God is working it out. Let him move! I love you & more importantly, so does he! More than I or anyone else can ever fathom or attempt to imagine;)


Peace, Love, and Blessings,

Nata Bee
copyright © 2011 Renate' Bender 

Fruit

You really can't know the lord unless you've been through the fire. Alot of folk try to know him through his Resurrection but you really can't know the power behind him unless you walked with him through his suffering. I can give you alot of info about him in a book...or on this blog...or through a conversation but it's something about going through the fire that gives one a personal experience that NO ONE can take away! Have any of you ever met the Lord in the fire? I used to think that fiery or spiritual folk where the people in church who hollered the most but that's not necessarily true. Some folks are hollering because the next one is hollering or they are standing because the next person is standing. They have no idea what the next one is hollering or standing about. But then you have some that are standing and shouting from a place because they know something. I stand and shout because I know and am learning God in a way that I wouldn't have if I had not been in the fire. I know how he can move. I know where I've been. If my friends stayed with me...or my family stayed with me...or my job stayed with me... I wouldn't KNOW him like I do right now. When they pulled out...he pulled in. If you've been in the fire or are in the fire, give God the praise. We have seasons where we are like the THREE Hebrew boys, they were in the fire but there was a FOURTH in there with them! There are some things about God that you can only learn while suffering for a while. The problem with some people is that they want the crown w/out the cross...they want the beauty w/out the ashes. God said if you suffer with me you will reign with me. He puts you in a place where you have no choice but to lean on him. Think about the true confidant in your life. Your real and true confidant is the individual that consistently walked with you and supported you through your time of suffering. You never have to look at this person and wonder what their motive is during your times of prosperity because they were with you during your times of lack. You don't mind providing everything in your power for that person because they were there and you know they were genuine. God is the same way. He says if you praise me during the agony...if you praise me during the pain...if you praise me through the tears...I will OPENLY and PUBLICLY reward you. He doesn't go back on his word. I KNOW that his word is NEVER null and void. As spiritual individuals walking this physical journey, we often depend on the "cares of the world" to provide UNLIMITED & perfect support and happiness. This is not available in anyone...not a husband...friend..confidant..mama..etc. A person can only do so much because they are not perfect and have shortcomings. We all do. You can't depend on mankind to fill you with unconditional love and happiness. They will fail you every time. God is sovereign. He will never leave you or forsake you. He loves you even when you are not the best person that you can be. He loves you even when you've done something that displeases him. Mankind sees what's on the outside. They often see you as a book...if the cover doesn't appeal, they assume the inside isn't appealing or if they see a "benefit" to being around you then they can deal with you. God sees our heart. God is not like mankind where they often befriend you or want a relationship due to something they feel they can get out of the deal. He doesn't love us or draw near to us to gain something from us because there is NOTHING we can give him. He is the owner of everything! He is waiting with open arms and covering for us even when we are RUNNING from him. Can you say that about ANYONE in your life? Can you say that a certain person or people have NEVER judged you or hurt you in some form or fashion? I can't. I depend on no one but my creator because he is all knowing and has everlasting love. I can lean on him because he has the shoulders for me to do that:) There's room for you too! I know that he will slowly but surely work on the things in me and about me that is displeasing in his sight. I no longer see myself through the eyes of other people. I pray to to see myself and other people through HIS eyes & he is providing me with that vision. This is very important to me because the carnal side of me sometimes would like to lash out,remove, and forget everyone that has ever taken me for granted or didn't give me the respect that I've given but then he quickly puts me in my place by saying, "concern yourself with dotting ALL of your "i's" and crossing your "t's". Let me do the rest. If they aren't meant to be there, I'll remove and replace them". I just sit still and wait.  I thank God for seeing me as a tree that's capable of bearing fruit. He often digs around and pulls out the "weeds" and "rocks" to allow the tree to grow. He puts fertilizer aka boo boo:) around the roots to allow it to grow. I no longer go through my "mess", I grow through it. I allow him to remove every weed...rock..insect...that prohibits my growth in him. A person is known by the fruit that they bear. Your fruit is your actions towards others particularly those that you can REAP NO BENEFITS FROM by doing for them. A person can SAY alot of things but their ACTIONS speak the loudest. I can sit here and quote scriptures, not eat every cow,pig, antelope,etc,wear dresses down to my ankles, and know every church in the southeast BUT if my everyday walk and actions towards my neighbor is all wrong, I have done nothing but PUT ON A SHOW for society. I am not a fan of religion. I am not a "fan" period. Fans are like the "constituents" in our lives...they jump on whatever ride gets them to their destination the fastest. They are not stable. They change up depending on the weather or circumstance.  How many constituents are you surrounded by? Careful...they can often be confused with a confidant. Moving on..I consider myself a follower of Christ and supporter of a strong spiritual relationship with Christ. "Religion" is a show for society. Religion states that as long as you are in church every Sunday and don't eat pork...at least in front of anyone..then you are saved & can go to heaven. Religion says that if you do a certain dance on Sunday's, then you are the holiest of holys. Religion caters to the world and society. When you cater to the world via religion, you only become a expert at deceiving yourself as well as others. Too many people that are "religious" smoke a blunt and drink liquor through the week yet point the finger at the crack attic that is in church on Sundays. How is the pot head going to talk about the heroin attic? How is the adulterer going to talk about the whore? How does the woman who fornicates talk about the woman who cheats on her husband? How does the man who's "shacking up" talk about the man who sleeps with prostitutes? How does the lesbian talk about the gay man? My point is...YOU CAN'T. We all are a work in progress. We all have places that need straightening out but how are we supposed to do this with this limited mentality of somehow thinking we are "better" due to committing only a certain sin? Too many of us get caught up in the "logistics" of how often, when, and where we go to church. Yes, we are to worship with other believers but never get so comfortable in your pew that you can't go out to bring other's in. God shows up in some of the most creative places. You'd be surprised. It's time that we at least try to get our "little church" together before we boast in the big church on Sunday's. No, I'm not perfect and neither are you but it's too many of us in various positions in life that can GIVE the advantage to other people instead of always taking advantage. I pray that God continues to surround me with people that speak faith mutually and that are loyal to him enough to know how to love on everyone around them. I pray that he removes those that are simply spectating and perpetrating. I pray that he removes anything about me or around me that is displeasing to him so I can become the woman that he has created me to be and bear the fruit that he'd like to see. What fruit are you bearing on today?


Peace,Love, and Blessings,


Nata Bee

copyright © 2011 Renate' Bender

He'll never leave you...

Hello Sisters & Brothers! I'd like to take a moment to thank you for giving me your undivided attention at this very moment. I know you could be doing other things at this time but you've chosen to glance this way. While I have your attention, I'd like to speak on the current season of my life. Some of you may or may not know that I was laid off over a month ago along with quite a few other trials. While I won't glorify my trials, I will glorify the treasure discovered. While going through this process, God has revealed quite a few things to me. He has shown me parts of myself, that I wasn't aware existed. He has also shown me what a confidante, constituent, and comrade actually is. Most importantly, he has shown me who HE is. Throughout this process I am learning that he is all I need. He is teaching me not to be completely co-dependent on my fellow sisters & brothers. He has shown me that people whether intentionally or unintentionally always fall short. This may be due to their own interests where they may not necessarily have the time to think of another. This may be due to simply refusing. It can be a variety of reasons but that's not what's important. The point that I'm trying to make is to learn to praise God & encourage yourself. It's taken me many nights of walking the floors alone with tears streaming down my face and anger threatening to enter my spirit/heart to finally realize that the purpose in this process was for me to be able to SEE WHO & WHAT was actually UNshakeable during my shaken foundation. I was told many years ago that I needed to improve on filtering through who I associate myself with. I've always been gullible when it came to the people that I've surrounded myself with. I've also been through several instances where I was repeatedly disappointed because I really didn't receive the same loyalty & support in return. This is not saying that you're supposed to do anything for anyone with an expectation of something in return but what I am saying is that a person who truly values you as a friend, will be there when the rest of the world has walked out. They'll be there even though they can & would rather be in alot of other places. I'd like to paint a picture with my words that was actually painted by my mother while having this discussion. There's a tree in the middle of a winter snow storm, every leaf has fallen off except that one special one that refuses to fall. The tree leans to the left....the leaf leans with it. The tree leans to the right...the leaf leans with it. Keep in mind that this leaf is having it's own battle with the winter winds but it holds on to that tree for dear life. This picture is a symbol of your TRUE confidant. He/She may have their own issues but they make the time to be supportive, adapt, and remain CONSISTENT. Its also like riding on the back of a motorcycle. You have to lean with the individual on the turns in order for the ride to go successful. If you don't, you will either run the risk of making the driver crash or you'll FALL OFF. Take note of the individuals that lean with you during your turns in life. When I say learn to lean with your confidantes, it means that if a person just wants a ear, LISTEN. It means that if they just want your presence, BE THERE. It can also means that if that person is in a season of silence, don't become angry, take it personal, or talk about it to everyone that'll listen. Respect it and try to understand that everyone deals with various issues differently. Take the ego out of the equation and walk in the spirit. There is a particular person that is a jewel to me. She has been consistent in her actions which has made huge impact in my life. While she may not know this, she has greatly impacted my view of what it means to be a true friend. As you read this, know that I appreciate you sending me biblical scriptures daily. I appreciate you leaving inspirational messages & calling even when I didn't/don't respond. You never forced yourself but you were consistent. It taught me to take a look at how I personally react when loving a person in a inconvenient environment. You even came by and knocked on my door, left a beautiful card & plant, even though I didn't answer the door and of course my car was parked outside but I was just too deep in depression to move and face the world. You didn't take it personal, you stood fast & continued to be a friend. I appreciate you and have been taught a tremendous lesson. As I walk on this journey, I am learning to include God into every aspect of my life. This includes parts of my life that I deem off limits from outside eyes. As I include him in every area, he adds the spirit of discernment and wisdom. This also includes the process of recognizing who & what is "counterfiet" & who/what is a "specialist". It is important that we surround ourselves with specialist aka people who specialize in blessing without selfish motives. It is required that we bless each other. I'm being blessed to bless others. Blessings aren't just monetary but it includes every positive aspect and characteristic of Christ. I've lately found myself checking myself by asking the questions of "What is my motive for befriending a person?" "How was my behavior during their darkest moments in life?" "Did I find myself manipulating them?" "Am I loyal to that friendship despite unfavorable or inconvenient circumstances?" I then turn it around and apply the same questions to the people I associate with. While the truth hurts at first, I find it liberating & it beats a lifelong lie any day. It teaches me to walk accordingly and deal with each individual in love yet without denial. Faith faces the circumstance with both eyes open. Many people can proclaim to be the sun in your life during the day hours but I've learned that it's best to pay close attention to the people who are the moon during your darkest nights. Let's learn to unselfishly love on each other and once we grasp that concept, we will immediately recognize the people around us that aren't genuine. I pray to God to continue to work on me and those that are meant to be with me on my journey. I thank God for having the everlasting arms that never grow tired. I thank God for sitting with me even when I'm not the most joyous person to be around. I thank him for always having time to comfort and talk to me even when I don't  do anything but cry and lay there. I also thank him for revealing to me what truly matters. I thank him for showing me that if noone ever called or came by to see me again, that I'd be ok. Learn that God is more than enough. Learn that even though people may let you down, he is always a keeper of his word. Learn to expect the best when depending on God because our best is in his hands and success is definitely in the plans. I am now at a place where, my worth doesn't lay in any relationship EXCEPT my creator. This means that even though people try to sometimes use,abuse, and manipulate you, it doesn't say anything about who you are but instead it says everything about who they are. Keep God first, & you'll never go wrong. This post went in a completely different direction than what I intended but I'm not irritated by it because that's how it usually works. My next post is coming very soon! Hopefully, it'll go in the direction that I have in mind but then again, it's not my will but God's. With all that said, thanks for listening. I hope that you've gathered something positive out of this & may you have a prosperous day/night.

Peace, Love, & Blessings,

Nata Bee

copyright © Renate' Bender