The Plan

She stares in the mirror, wondering if this is real

Please Lord PLEASE!!! let this just be another nightmare and not the real deal!

PINCH ME! SHAKE ME!! SCREAM! Some type of feel!!

But the longer she stares and watches the tears fall, it confirms that this is not a drill.

Nope, this is the real thing...a NIGHTMARE...her worst fears!

Her best friend has left THIS world. Here comes more tears.

While her spirit knows that her mama has transitioned to a new life full of peace, beauty, and tranquility that's surreal

Her emotions scream, I WANT YOU HERE!

They scream like a toddler snatched out of it's mother's arms...like a eaglet kicked out of the eagles nest

Wings pinned to her back..falling and gasping for breath

Her heart feels like its been stabbed repeatedly with a knife

The world's color seems to be gone. 

Nothing seems exciting anymore

Everything feels wrong

Her laughs are short lived

Her soul feels torn

She knows she must move forward but how does one do that?

How does she go on?

How does one go forth when everywhere she looks, she's reminded of her mom doing this or that?

How does one continue on when they are so broken and wounded?

Can she really survive this ride?

YES. Her Creator says because I'm on your side.

I know the plans I have for you.

I can do all things but fail.

I am your shield.

I am your Rock.

You know my word.

It is not a fairytale.

My word is true.

I am not a man that I should lie.

You can't & won't figure it all out but TRUST that I am on your side.

My ways are not your ways. My thoughts are not your thoughts.

Don't be afraid.

I will give you joy for your sorrows and hope for your tomorrows.

I'll give you strength for EVERYTHING that you go through.

You know why?

Its because I know the plans I have for you.

I dedicate this to you mama. I love you so much. I miss you so much but I know that with much prayer and many, many more days & nights of tears, God will continue to strengthen me and I will be able to get through this. I'm pressing through and "bearing down" like you always told me to do when things get painful and rough. I'm glad that God picked you to be my mama. I'm glad that he gave me a chance to hug and kiss all around your face and head and tell you how much I love you and you tell me back. I couldn't ask for anyone better. I'll do my best to make you proud. I'm sure I have alot more inside of me to write because they say the best work comes from a place of pain and heartache so through this extreme pain, I'll continue to write. I'll see you on the other side and we can talk all about it and joke again. ~Nata B.

It's time to FLY!

“As an eagle stirreth up her nest, fluttereth over her young, spreadeth abroad her wings, taketh them, beareth them on her wings.”* (Deuteronomy 32:11)

Have you ever seen an eagle stir up her nest?  There in the nest, right upon the rocky heights, are the eaglets. The eaglets are comfortable. The nest is nice and comfy and the mother eagle feeds them everyday while they lay there and relax....THEN ONE DAY...The mother eagle comes and, takes hold of them, and flings them out of the nest. They were so comfortable there, but she flings them right out of the nest, high above the earth. They begin to fall. They never have been in air before; they have always been in the nest.
Has the mother eagle lost her mind?! Why does she disturb the eaglets?

Watch her and you will understand. As long as you look at the struggling eaglets in the air you miss the point.

Watch the eagle. Having stirred up her nest, she “spreadeth abroad her wings,” the wings that beat the air behind her as she rises HIGH ABOVE IT. Where are the eaglets? Struggling, Terrified, and Falling...

The mother eagle is superior yet...they are falling. Then what does she do? She “beareth them on her pinions.” She SWOOPS beneath them, catches them on her wings, and bears them up. Wait...What is she doing you ask? She is teaching them to fly. She then drops them again, and again while they struggle in the air, but THIS TIME not so helplessly. They are finally realizing what she means. She spreads her pinions to show them how to fly, and as they fall again, she catches them again. That is how God deals with you and me.

Has He been stirring up your nest? Has He flung you out until you feel lost in an element that is new and strange? Look up at Him. He is not lost. He spreads out the wings of omnipotence to teach us how to soar. What then? He comes beneath us and catches us on His wings. We thought when He flung us out of the nest it was unkind. No, He was teaching us to fly that we might enter into the spirit of the promise, “They shall mount up with wings as eagles.”* (Isaiah 40:31)

He is teaching us how to use the gifts which He has placed in us. We cannot use these gifts as long as we are in the nest.

Eaglets cannot remain in the nest! It is contrary to their nature, contrary to the purposes for which they are framed and fitted. You'll never realize the power within you if you were never cast out into uncharted territory. There is a purpose in the eagle. What is it you ask? It is to fly to great heights.

There is a purpose in your life. What is it? Fly Godward and eventually heavenward. If you stop in the nest you will never get there. When God has placed his hand on your life and starts to lead you, it is a disruption to your dreams and plans. It is a disturbance but it is a PROGRESSIVE disturbance so that He may get you on His wings and teach you the secret forces of your own life, and lead you to a higher development and higher purposes.