Brace yourself...

You can't understand the pain of others until you've suffered deeply yourself.~R.Warren

I'm learning that the more challenges we face, the more that we are pushed towards our point of completion as an individual. So today wasn't really a great day for me and blah and blah and blah..BUT I'm learning that a garden can't grow with only sunshine. It definitely needs rain as well. I'm learning to keep searching by faith and not by sight. I'm working on remaining constant despite the circumstances. When you pray, don't ask to change the circumstances. Instead ask that he changes you because in life circumstances can't be controlled but our outlook towards these circumstances can be molded. God uses our challenges to shape us. God also can shape our past into something so wonderful. When I say this, I mean that no matter what you may have experienced in your past, he can use it for your good. It brings us into completion. There are times where I sort of hesitate to write these thoughts because I know that there are a few naysayers who may ask, "Who does she think she is?" or "Do they know her faults or what she did at some point or another?" To THAT I say, God loves to use the "cracked pots". His light is seen through those cracks. Yes, I call myself a cracked pot! Lol! I quickly go against the negativity that tries to threaten my motive to inspire individuals. There are days like today where I find myself asking the WHY'S of my trials but I quickly pray & I know that tomorrow will be a better day. My short time on this earth has definitely taught me that everyday isn't the same. I don't know what God has in store for me but I trust him enough that whatever it is won't be used for my harm. It'll be for my good. On days like these, I often am pondering why things didn't go a certain way but I know that deep down in my heart, what is meant to be will be. What is for me will be given to me. There's no use in me crying over fake pearls when God wants to prepare and give me the real deal. We tend to have a very limited view of life & cry and scream about things that a few years down the line, we'll turn back and say THANK GOD HE DIDN'T GIVE ME THAT. Alot of the time, the rejections in our life are our protection. Some of us just take a little longer to realize this. Sometimes our MIND can know one thing but our HEART hasn't received the memo yet. In due time...In due time...I just need to be patient. God knows our beginning & our end. I pray that those of you who have this very same battle know that with perseverance and faith, all things are possible. In the Hebrew bible the word "committed" means braced. I'm sure most of you are familiar with braced or braces. Braces hold things in place while the growth takes place. I like to look at FAITH as being "committed" which therefore means "braced". Faith is the brace that hold things together while growth takes place. This means when there is a shift in your world, faith holds you together knowing that its not the end of your story. Faith braces you when folks smile in your face then go and talk about you behind your back. Faith braces you when your husband,wife,boyfriend, or girlfriend leaves you in your most desperate time of need. Faith braces you on the cold nights where loneliness seems to be your only blanket. Faith braces you when you feel like you're standing alone and the world has turned its back on you. Faith braces you when you receive that final notice in the mail from the electric company with 20.00 in the bank. Faith braces you when folks judge you and don't know your story but simply rumors. Faith braces you when you have your babies asking what's for dinner and all you have in the refrigerator is a box of baking soda and jug of water. With all that said, learn to encourage yourself. Pump your own self up. Brace yourself when you seem by yourself. God often acts in a way that we least expect. Jesus keeps me going. He carries me. Everyone won't love me or you. Everyone won't be fair. Everyone won't treat others as they'd like to be treated. Everyone won't be honest. That is OK. Never let that change who you are. Life will bring pain but know that God is there every step of the way. We have Jesus on our side. He is our anchor. The more God uses your life,the more you'll be misunderstood & misjudged. That's the price. Are you OK with that? I've personally looked individuals in the face and know that they dislike me yet I wasn't moved to mistreat them. I know that area of my life has definitely matured. I've actually come to the point now where when I know an individual dislikes me or has a motive to mistreat me, I help wherever I see a need arrives. I go out of my way to be nice not because I want acceptance but simply because the actions are proving that I've risen above. It's what God wants us to do. It actually makes me happy. Some people feel that it's a sign of weakness. If that's you, RENEW YOUR MIND. Someone said to me, you have awesome writing skills and you are the example of what a person should be like. To that I say thank you BUT it isn't me at all that should be given credit. My imperfections and weaknesses makes me able to present what you see. I ask God to use me despite my faults. Anyone that personally knows me, knows that I am far from perfect & I am ok with that. We all are a work in progress. I just thank God for self-actualization. The people that are in my circle accept me for who I am. I thank God so much for my friends and family. I have a couple of friends that have seen alot of my faults, wiped my tears, hugged me through my low moments, answered my calls/texts at 4 or 5a.m. without a trace of anger or judgement, listened, gave,loved,and had faith in me as a good person. I love you so much. Words really can't explain. They are there to climb over the walls that I try to put up. While others simply give/gave up or judge me, my support system remains consistent. I can't ask God for a better group of family and friends. With all that said, I hope that those of you reading this gained a lesson and were uplifted in some way. When I write, I not only inspire others, I uplift and inspire myself as well. Thank you God for your grace. Thank you for using me. Selah.

Nata Bee

copyright © 2011 Renate' Bender

Why am I in a bad mood?

I believe that the root of this problem is that many people are discouraged and down because of the way others treat them. This is known as rejection. Although its hurtful when we're rejected,the truth is that this is life and we have to deal with the fact that we may sometimes get in the crossfire of people's "mess" or bad moods. Make the decision to stop making people's bad moods and behavior steal your joy. Please know that "hurt people" hurt other people. Refuse to let someone else's bad day become your bad day. Why do we respond so extreme to people's lashing out? Why does this behavior have the power to send our day down the drain? I believe that sometimes deep down inside,people may ponder if the "accuser" may actually be right. I believe that the root of the problem lies in the way we feel about ourselves. Some of us don't have a good relationship with ourselves. It is important to God that we like the person that he has CREATED us to be. This is important. Find your confidence in Christ...not your checkbook, social standing, position in the church, position at work,position in a ministry, or whether you're married or single. Get beyond all of that and know that God loves you and chooses you. We are his beloved. We have to work on the relationship that we have with ourselves. It took me a while to gain this understanding. I am still a work in progress regarding this area of my life. I just thank God that I'm not where I used to be regarding self value and dealing with rejection. The spirit of rejection can be brought on by something that may have happened in the past. It can be brought on by molestation,physical abuse,verbal abuse,rape,estrangement,etc..Many individuals such as myself have battled with some if not all of these issues. The spirit of rejection takes root in many of our lives and is able to manifest and reveal itself in many ways. For example, in some of my past relationships(friendships included), if things didn't go exactly the way that I saw them in my mind, I'd take it personal & an argument would follow. It would sometimes be simple issues that didn't require all of the extra drama! To make matters worse, I'd often be in relationships with people that had the very same issue & was just as blind as me towards the matter. The blind definitely can't lead the blind!! It's true that you attract people into your life that coincides with the way you feel about yourself inside. I'm so glad that I'm moving pass that! With the root of rejection, you often see an individual not agreeing with your view or wanting to do things in a way that wasn't envisioned in your mind as a REJECTION OF YOU instead of them simply being an individual that has a different way of doing things. Instead of both parties meeting halfway and reaching a compromise, you shut down completely. There is healing from this:) I had to learn not to put my WHO'S and DO'S together. Just because a person rejects your opinion or what you'd DO in a given situation doesn't mean that they are rejecting you or WHO you are. Stop getting your who's and do's mixed up. It's time to get real brothers and sisters. I've noticed that oftentimes the most boastful of people can have the lowest self value/image. It doesn't have to always be this way. I've found that emerging yourself in Christ as well as keeping the company of people who have POSITIVE goals and values is the medicine for that disease. Never be afraid or regretful for removing or distancing yourself from people who try to drag you down in spirit. I'm not saying to stop loving them but do so from a distance because oftentimes when people aren't aware of their distorted mindset or if they are comfortable with that mindset, they will try to constantly feed it to you. If you're not in right standing with your self worth, you'll eventually find yourself caught up & spewing that same hatred & negativity. The crazy thing about it is you'll confuse it for positivity. You'll try to label it as being "REALISTIC" when in reality you're being limited. You're limited within the confines of a mental jail. I've served my time which is why I know so very well the effects of it. It is an everyday process for me to break those chains. It is a constant battle to quiet the yelling of people's negative words and actions from my past and sometimes present. I believe that most can agree that there is no worse emotional pain than being mistreated,rejected,& abused by those you love and trust. I had to learn to not let it consume me. I'm not going to say my feelings are never hurt when I'm on the receiving end of a person's hurtful words & actions because that would be a lie. The difference between the person I was and who I am now is that I no longer let it consume me. I don't let it dictate who I AM as a person. OK now get this, some of the things that people may say or have said just may be true BUT they weren't ordained to be your judge. God is our only judge & when we put him first and follow him, please believe that he will clean us right up. Never let an individual tell you that they believe its "their job" to vulgarly and abusively let you know about your faults when they have a few "issues" themselves. We all do.  Most of the time the very people that are pointing a finger at you,have major flaws that they are hiding themselves by pushing the focus on your flaws. Please believe that. With all that said, I wish you success within your endeavor to love the person that God has created you to be. Once you nail that relationship,all other relationships won't be so difficult to decipher as positive or negative. You have to love yourself as "Me" before loving the "We" aspect of yourself. Baggage only looks good at the airport not a relationship ;)

Nata Bee