The Plan

She stares in the mirror, wondering if this is real

Please Lord PLEASE!!! let this just be another nightmare and not the real deal!

PINCH ME! SHAKE ME!! SCREAM! Some type of feel!!

But the longer she stares and watches the tears fall, it confirms that this is not a drill.

Nope, this is the real thing...a NIGHTMARE...her worst fears!

Her best friend has left THIS world. Here comes more tears.

While her spirit knows that her mama has transitioned to a new life full of peace, beauty, and tranquility that's surreal

Her emotions scream, I WANT YOU HERE!

They scream like a toddler snatched out of it's mother's arms...like a eaglet kicked out of the eagles nest

Wings pinned to her back..falling and gasping for breath

Her heart feels like its been stabbed repeatedly with a knife

The world's color seems to be gone. 

Nothing seems exciting anymore

Everything feels wrong

Her laughs are short lived

Her soul feels torn

She knows she must move forward but how does one do that?

How does she go on?

How does one go forth when everywhere she looks, she's reminded of her mom doing this or that?

How does one continue on when they are so broken and wounded?

Can she really survive this ride?

YES. Her Creator says because I'm on your side.

I know the plans I have for you.

I can do all things but fail.

I am your shield.

I am your Rock.

You know my word.

It is not a fairytale.

My word is true.

I am not a man that I should lie.

You can't & won't figure it all out but TRUST that I am on your side.

My ways are not your ways. My thoughts are not your thoughts.

Don't be afraid.

I will give you joy for your sorrows and hope for your tomorrows.

I'll give you strength for EVERYTHING that you go through.

You know why?

Its because I know the plans I have for you.

I dedicate this to you mama. I love you so much. I miss you so much but I know that with much prayer and many, many more days & nights of tears, God will continue to strengthen me and I will be able to get through this. I'm pressing through and "bearing down" like you always told me to do when things get painful and rough. I'm glad that God picked you to be my mama. I'm glad that he gave me a chance to hug and kiss all around your face and head and tell you how much I love you and you tell me back. I couldn't ask for anyone better. I'll do my best to make you proud. I'm sure I have alot more inside of me to write because they say the best work comes from a place of pain and heartache so through this extreme pain, I'll continue to write. I'll see you on the other side and we can talk all about it and joke again. ~Nata B.

It's time to FLY!

“As an eagle stirreth up her nest, fluttereth over her young, spreadeth abroad her wings, taketh them, beareth them on her wings.”* (Deuteronomy 32:11)

Have you ever seen an eagle stir up her nest?  There in the nest, right upon the rocky heights, are the eaglets. The eaglets are comfortable. The nest is nice and comfy and the mother eagle feeds them everyday while they lay there and relax....THEN ONE DAY...The mother eagle comes and, takes hold of them, and flings them out of the nest. They were so comfortable there, but she flings them right out of the nest, high above the earth. They begin to fall. They never have been in air before; they have always been in the nest.
Has the mother eagle lost her mind?! Why does she disturb the eaglets?

Watch her and you will understand. As long as you look at the struggling eaglets in the air you miss the point.

Watch the eagle. Having stirred up her nest, she “spreadeth abroad her wings,” the wings that beat the air behind her as she rises HIGH ABOVE IT. Where are the eaglets? Struggling, Terrified, and Falling...

The mother eagle is superior yet...they are falling. Then what does she do? She “beareth them on her pinions.” She SWOOPS beneath them, catches them on her wings, and bears them up. Wait...What is she doing you ask? She is teaching them to fly. She then drops them again, and again while they struggle in the air, but THIS TIME not so helplessly. They are finally realizing what she means. She spreads her pinions to show them how to fly, and as they fall again, she catches them again. That is how God deals with you and me.

Has He been stirring up your nest? Has He flung you out until you feel lost in an element that is new and strange? Look up at Him. He is not lost. He spreads out the wings of omnipotence to teach us how to soar. What then? He comes beneath us and catches us on His wings. We thought when He flung us out of the nest it was unkind. No, He was teaching us to fly that we might enter into the spirit of the promise, “They shall mount up with wings as eagles.”* (Isaiah 40:31)

He is teaching us how to use the gifts which He has placed in us. We cannot use these gifts as long as we are in the nest.

Eaglets cannot remain in the nest! It is contrary to their nature, contrary to the purposes for which they are framed and fitted. You'll never realize the power within you if you were never cast out into uncharted territory. There is a purpose in the eagle. What is it you ask? It is to fly to great heights.

There is a purpose in your life. What is it? Fly Godward and eventually heavenward. If you stop in the nest you will never get there. When God has placed his hand on your life and starts to lead you, it is a disruption to your dreams and plans. It is a disturbance but it is a PROGRESSIVE disturbance so that He may get you on His wings and teach you the secret forces of your own life, and lead you to a higher development and higher purposes.

You see me...

You see me, the chick with the crooked smile and small waist...You see me, the chick with the serious face. You ask yourself, what could it be that makes her so blue? If only you knew... You see, this crooked smile and serious profile does not come from a place of anger or insanity. You actually see a woman focused on her destiny. Yeah sure, I often wonder what it would be like to fit comfortably in the "convenience" box that many have made for me but my Creator quickly reminds me by saying Nata Bee, I made you in the image of me and you see, my ways will not be your ways and my thoughts, not your thoughts because when I made thee, I applied uniqueness with a dash of this and a pinch of that so stop ANALYZING and WONDERING about that. Your quirky ways and awkward daze will by no means bother the people I'll send your way. Just let me handle this and maneuver this so stop with the play. Your mind will not fathom the complete picture because you see...I set it this way. Your mission is to WALK, not by sight, but simply by faith. You do this by accepting who I've made you to be and not what the enemy fools you to see. So...You see me, the crooked smile and small waist...This face is not the result of being in a dark place or insanity. The face you see is focused on her destiny.
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The above flowed from my pen to my pad in a matter of minutes. For some reason, God wanted me to write this so here I am. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. To all that see this, never be afraid to let God use you. His intent is not to hurt us but to mold us into the people that he has called us to be. In order for him to do that, we must let him LEAD. With that said, thanks for reading!

Peace, Love, & Blessings!

Nata Bee

copyright © 2012 Renate' Bender All Rights Reserved.

What's Your Choice?

For many are called, but few are chosen

Matthew 22-14

Many people use the above scripture without actually knowing what it means. I've seen it used pertaining towards friendship quotes as well as used in a manner that tries to spread some sort of hopeless message regarding the kingdom of God. I'd like to encourage you to read God's word and meditate on it before carelessly throwing it around without an actual understanding of what it means. Read the bible for yourself. Many simply go off of what "grandmama & nem" said and run with it without actually reading and gaining a personal understanding for themselves. As God's children, lets stop recycling religious sayings that we've memorized from other people and actually start walking our own walk with God because when it's all said and done, we will be standing alone before him. God put this passage on my heart and gave me an understanding as to what it actually means. This passage represents God's love for us. He calls all of us at one point or another in our lives. You may wonder what I am speaking of when I say "call". This simply means that God calls us through messengers, sermons, visions, & experiences to live a life that represents him and is pleasing to him.

As a person who is trying to accomplish this, I will tell you that it is by no means easy which brings me to my next point. Few are chosen because alot of people simply do not want to change their "comfortable" way of living. Most believe that a comfortable way of living is what is actually acceptable and smiled upon in the world we live in. The revelation I received from this passage tells me that God never excluded us but we exclude ourselves by knowingly, actively & consistently making choices that reject his ways. When God calls us, it is very uncomfortable at first because it goes against the grain. It is the opposite of what the world deems as "normal". The world doesn't view voluntary celibacy & abstinence as "normal" or even sane. The world views this as "unreasonable" & "delusional". The world doesn't view loving and helping your enemies as a smart thing. The world says, "Do you". The world can't understand why some of us who choose to be more Christ like will actually walk away from a tall,dark, and handsome unsaved man that we can see for a man that we don't see. The world doesn't understand this because the world can't see what we see. The gospel is hidden to those whose hearts are hardened against his word. Don't simply go off of my word, check it out for yourself. * 2 Corinthians 4:3*

You will find that the world rejects people who strive to do what Christ has called them to do. It will portray an image that we are idiots and have no brain to think for ourselves. It will portray that we are too "radical" and "crazy" to think that way of living is achievable and normal. One thing that is correct about the previous statement is that, we are radical, I'll admit that. We have no choice but to be because we serve a radical God and I make no apologies for that.

Many times we can get so caught up in what the world is saying is "normal" that it impairs our vision and we start to chip away at our value system just to fit in and gain acceptance but what many don't realize is that the world is much like a "bad romance"..word to lady gaga...it feels so good at the beginning and you become blind to the red flags & unhealthy consequences that once you've completely invested yourself in it, it rejects you without an ounce of sympathy. It actually smiles at your tears and misfortunes. The deeper your despair, the happier it gets. Do not be deceived by it.

To further drive the point home, I will present you with a parable regarding getting caught up in the world's way of doing things. There was a certain individual eating a huge ice cream cone but this wasn't an ordinary cone, it had a sharp blade buried inside it unbeknownst to this person. The person licked this ice cream cone with vigorous delight & eventually was lost in the joy of this cone that they didn't recognize when they started to lick the blade. They eventually started to cut up their own tongue and lick their own blood because they were so caught up in the initial pleasure of the ice cream cone. Don't get so caught up in what the world says is OK that you miss out on what God is calling you to do. Read his word and meditate on it. Who cares if people don't understand or label you as "crazy". People label things as "crazy" when they don't understand it. They then try to demean and reject it. Do not let people deter you from a peace and joy that is unshakable. Listen, people that willingly live their lives in the dark, lose their "sight" so when the light comes into their room, they will become angry and reject it. Don't lose your sight. There's never a pit so deep that God can't reach in and get you out. Yes, we all are a work in progress & God has ordained grace for us through Jesus Christ because he knew we would fall down but do not be deceived into thinking that means life can be lived any kind of way as long as we scream "forgive me" without any true remorse. True remorse brings about change. Grace is actually the strength to refrain from living your life any kind of way. It is not a manipulation tactic that can be used as a pass.

A person that seeks God with their whole being will by no means be forsaken. God will hear their voice and day by day we start to become more like him. This means we start to gain his spiritual characteristics. When this happens, it will be very difficult to go back to our old way of life because his Spirit constantly guides our steps and once we step outside of his will, he alarms us. If we choose to ignore & continue outside of his will, then the spirit becomes grieved and therefore we will become grieved in our spirit because it dwells inside of our being. If you're on your own journey with him, you will understand. If not, what I'm expressing to you will sound "out there" & probably make you defensive and angry. To that, I urge you not to reject the truth aka light but to embrace it. While the light may shine on & reveal our imperfections, it will also work to free us from the bondage that connect us to these imperfections. In the words of Amistad...GIVE US FREE:) CHOOSE to be one of the few today.

Nata Bee

Happy New You!

Trade in your mind of history for a mind of destiny. Do not waste another year nullifying new opportunities with an old mindset. ~Nata Bee

I'm sure most of you reading this have by now heard or have personally stated & sworn to the cliche' sayings of reaching new weight goals, zero debt, getting rid of "baggage" & every other saying that many state during the New Year holiday. We often abandon or forget about many of these goals around the end of March or so when the hoorah has died down. I'd like to take the time to encourage you as well as myself by saying, make this year the year that you actually see these desired goals through. Let's start by actually praying to God to change our mindset because where the head goes the body follows. Let's adopt a healthy and spiritual mindset for the year 2012. It's time that we rid ourselves of negative circumstances and people. It's time that we actually take responsibility for alot of the mess that has been accumulated. While I know without a shadow of a doubt that we can't control every circumstance that we face, we can control our perception and way of thinking towards these circumstances. We must develop a clear vision in order to be mobile. A distorted vision will always cause some sort of immobility. This means that we must learn to be honest with ourselves and actually know who we are in Christ to find the answer to the questions of what roles we may have played within various scenarios. A victim's mindset will always place blame on other people when presented with an issue while a victorious mindset will tend to see the opportunity to grow stronger in a certain area of life. We need to stop giving human beings so much power and control over our mental state. Our moods and attitudes towards life should never be dependent on if the next person is in agreement with it. Stop expecting big things from little people. Most of the time people have their own problems and issues to work through so for us to actually place our livelihood and worth on something so unstable would be completely foolish on our part. Stop painting a different picture of people when they have shown you their true colors. We only waste valuable time and hurt ourselves. Lets learn to take responsibility and strive towards bigger and better things. Stop making excuses as to why you can't do something and getting jealous/mad when you see the next individual prospering. If we're not willing to actually be steadfast throughout adversity and sacrifice to reach the next level, we can't blame anyone but ourselves. Stop seeking approval from people whether its a boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, family member, "the elite" in society, or an associate. People's attitudes and outlooks are never constant and solid so we set ourselves up for failure when we do this. We must stop searching for the living among the dead. This means you can't expect prosperity and abundance out of a situation that is bankrupt. Everyone will not understand & some may mock while others will simply walk away. That is perfectly OK because the reward of submitting to a mindset and lifestyle that pleases God is priceless. We don't have time to convince people of our vision nor can we waste time trying to please everyone that doesn't understand. To those that don't understand, simply say, "Talk about me all that you please but I will continue to pray on my knees". If we learn to be steadfast and actually finish things through, there will always be a reward. Let's challenge ourselves to invest in the things that actually can't be purchased, like a renewed mindset and heart. Happy New YOU!

Nata Bee

Baggage

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest". ~ Matthew 11:28

So many relationships end because many of us go into them thinking that they are the answer needed to take away our baggage. Reality hits when you get into these relationships and find out that the person has just as much if not more baggage than we do. Some of us aren't looking for a man, we're looking for a Messiah. Some of us aren't looking for a woman but a maid. Someone that can clean up all of that mess we've accumalated over the course of our lives. It's time that we keep it real with ourselves. You find out that underneath that suit and behind that million dollar smile is a burdened down individual. You find out that the "36-24-36" isn't the only thing that you're carrying over the threshold. You may be carrying the rape, abuse, her momma, her insecurities, her manipulative mindset. You may find yourself walking down the aisle towards his abuse, his insecurities, his mental illness, & his manipulative mindset. So many eventually end up going into the mindset of "falling out of love" because the baggage that they've brought into a relationship is now combined with our baggage. The "ideology" of perfection then goes out of the window & is chalked up as "falling out of love".  If we would just realize that a husband or wife is not the ticket we need to obtain LASTING  happiness within the depths of our spirit, we would be a better person to be in a relationship with. Learn who the true Comforter and Healer is. People were never meant to clean up our mess. Once we digest that and actually depend on the true Messiah, you know the one that shed his blood on the cross for us, we'll learn to live victory in this life. The first step is being honest with ourselves. Learn to recognize that some of us really believe that life isn't worth living if we're not in a relationship & then proceed to tear down that lie with the word of God. Learn to recognize that some of us have a bad attitude towards men and women which often effects our ability to have a successful relationship. This is not restricted to romantic relationships but friendships as well. As I walk my journey, God reveals the issues that I need to resolve within myself. As I work with him to resolve my own issues, he shows me the unhealthy relationships and friendships that I've attracted into my life. Remember that various variables in our "stinkin thinkin" often attracts others with the very same mindset. Once he starts cleaning on your insides, you tend to see things and people in a new light. Some you are no longer drawn to because you're no longer blinded or chained down in that area that drew them into your life in the first place. Once we learn to be honest with ourselves, we will have no issue being honest with others in our life.

Peace, Love, and Blessings,

Nata Bee

Time to Upgrade

I'd like to take a moment and speak about people who judge others who are trying to enlighten themselves as well as others. The following paragraph was something that I came across that inspired me to write today's post. Check it out:

"Have you ever known a person, or a very self righteous person or someone that comes across holier than thou & is always trying to spread the good word, drop those gems of knowledge, self worth, positivity or affirmations?  But when you were around them in the past they were a freakaleek.  Now they're on this higher ground talking the gospel on fb & twitter.  Now all these ppl are liking their quotes & posts & having epiphanies like they've opened up a new dimension to their mind & soul. But when you read it ur like plz, it wasn't like that when we were.... I just roll my eyes & be like da hell this righteous person come from???  If they only knew!" 

Sadly, this is the mindset that so many of us have displayed either in the past, presently, or maybe in the future. It seems that as soon as someone gets religious/saved, people go & bring up their past as if they themselves have the lifestyle credentials of Mother Theresa. My question is have you have ever sat down and questioned what exactly is in our spirit that makes some of us lash out in this manner when we see or hear our brother or sister talking "religious"? Have you ever wondered why many take on the attitude that is displayed in the message above? Now let me be clear to those of you that automatically revert to the "So many people are hypocrites" defense mechanism. I am not referring to the individuals that PURPOSEFULLY manipulate God's word to work in their favor and feed their own selfish desires. I'm not talking about the people that are unapologetically living in a way that's not pleasing to God and knowingly & mercilessly persecute others with judgemental eyes & words. I'm talking about individuals that are by no means perfect yet they strive towards evolving into the person God wants them to be yet are still "persecuted". I'm talking about people that strive to motivate and inspire others knowing that they aren't perfect and openly admit their imperfection by helping others in the spirit of love not judgment.

Just because a person doesn't air every dirty detail that they've done in life does not mean that they are hypocrites or that they are "frontin". Everything isn't for everybody. Some things are simply between you & God. The difference between a saint & a sinner is simply the revelation that they acknowledge and consistently strive towards the Savior for help. When you strive towards the Savior, you begin to take on his characteristics. His characteristic then start to show through your actions but this is never a overnight deal. You evolve. I evolve. This means that what may have hurt me last year no longer hurts me this year. What angered me last month no longer angers me today. My weaknesses constantly evolve into my strengths because I am always growing.

If you have issues discerning if a person is genuine towards you just pray, watch, and listen. Listen, you know what's in a person's heart by the words that they CONSTANTLY speak. Learn to shut your mouth sometimes & actually LISTEN. I guarantee, you will actually see who a person is on the inside. Also WATCH a person's actions. Something I've learned is that people ALWAYS show their TRUE self by their actions & their priorities. A tree is known by it's fruit. The "fruit" is referring to the doctrine that the person lives by. If a person constantly speaks on manipulating people/situations...manipulation is in their heart. If a person is constantly talking about who did what against them & constantly regurgitating old hurts...unforgiveness is there. If a person always talks about getting a person back in some form or fashion...bitterness is there. Now this is not saying JUDGE anyone because that's not our place & the whole point of this entry is to deter people from that. This is saying practice discernment. This part is simply explaining how to separate the "sheep" & the "wolves". The word says be wise as serpents yet harmless as doves.

Lastly, know that on this journey towards being enlightened and inspiring others, there will always be people who try to constantly "take you down a notch" by constantly bringing up your past. Notice in the quotated entry above, the person said "COME ACROSS as holier than thou"...this mean that their PERCEPTION brought along their conclusion. Most that are striving towards the straight and narrow, don't brag that they are "holier than thou". If a person has to constantly scream and rant that they are holier than thou, chances are they are trying to convince themselves. Just stay focused on your race. Know that people can & do change. Know that some people, particularly "the reminders", REFUSE to stop living in the past. They want to throw those type of jabs because something in them does not want to accept that people evolve and change. Simply watch their actions and listen to test their genunity as explained above. Some want you to revert back to who you were simply because it makes them feel good about their own choices in life. Some are simply intimidated. Yes, there are some that do fake the spiritual role but to that I still say, if their fake motivational fb, twitter, email, statuses helps to motivate other people to do better and be their best self, I see it as a WIN. I trust that eventually what that person is "pretending" to be will eventually become their reality. I live by the "speak it into existence" doctrine. Life & Death are in the power of the tongue. You either speak life or death into your being. Which are you choosing?  

Peace, Love, & Blessings,

Nata Bee